Snarky facebook: finish the sentence.......like, now!

Finish the sentences. Then re-post it as "Finish the sentences" (in your NOTES section) when you're done!


1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... will probably be with an undercover assassin with poisoned lipstick.

2. I am listening to...  a mysterious tip tap tip tap. Oh wait it stopped, no started. Hmmm, I remain perfectly still, it stops. I wonder what it is?

3. I talk.... talk talk. All I ever do to you is talk talk talk talk.

4. I love.... facebook! (Where's my $5 commission?)

5. My best friends.... are dogs. But they always play poker without me. Bitches!

6. My first real kiss… is I don't recall anymore. Sad, but true.

7. Love is....facebook (cha-ching!)

8. Marriage is.... like Facebook, sometimes fun, sometimes a chore, and always there. Until it's replaced by the next big thing.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking.... why am I wasting my time reading this? Oh wait, that's everybody.

10. I'll always remember.... my first pack of Marlboro's.

11. The last time I really cried was because.... I got a boo boo. Then I got it kissed, and a band-aid with Jessica Alba on it. It was hot.

12. My cell phone....  There are many like it, but this one is mine. My cell phone is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My cell phone, without me, is useless. Without my cell phone, I am useless.

13. When I wake up in the morning.... I reach under my pillow to make sure my cell phone is there.

14. Before I go to bed.... I kiss my cell phone g'night.

15. Right now I am thinking about.... no, not my cell phone. What kind of freak do you think I am? I'm still thinking about my Alba band-aid!

16. Babies are.... too young for cell phones, but you can get them plastic play ones.

17. I get on Myspace.... but usually it's like mymonkey on myback.

18. Today I.... dismantled and cleaned my cell phone.

19. Tomorrow I will be... bringing it by the Verizon store to get a new one. Thank you no-questions-asked insurance!

20. I really want to be.... a ballerina.

21. I am allergic to....  shrimp on the barbie, or shrimp anyhow. Actually, Barbie too - and damn, if I'm not surrounded by too many of them in LA!

22. I am annoyed by.... people answering their phones in the can. The echo is annoying.

23. One food I refuse to eat is... gefilte fish.  Way back in college, I stocked grocery shelves at night.  One night I dropped an entire case of glass jars of GF - it stank so bad we evacuated the store.

24. The most recent thing I've learned is.... the tip tap tip tap noise is the keyboard!

25. The number one thing on my bucket list is.... fixing the hole in it.

26. Something I've always wanted to learn to do is.... a pirouette.

27. I have a high tolerance for.... hard-fought failure.

28. I have a low tolerance for.... easy success.

29. My wish... is for an endless series of FB notes to be snarky on.

30. One person I would happily make a fool out of myself if I ever saw in person.... any of you.