My life according to Vogon Poetry ("On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.")

Using only poem titles from ONE poet, answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 (or a million) people you like, plus me because I want to see what you posted. You can't use the poet I used. Do not repeat a title. Repost as "My Life According to (POET)."

Are you a male or female?
Its earted jurtles

Describe yourself:
Like jowling meated liverslime

How do you feel:
Oh freddled gruntbuggly

Describe where you currently live:
Into a rancid festering...

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
With crinkly bindlewurdles

Your favorite form of transportation:
On a lurgid bee

What's the weather like:
As plurdled gabbleblotchits

Favorite time of day:
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles

Your relationships:
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes

Your fear:
That mordiously hath bitled out

What is the best advice you have to give:
See if I don't.

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts

Your soul's present condition:
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon

And now, a Very Special Blossom, er, I mean Snark.

The Huff Post has a little article about Kirk Cameron's "very special" (cough, cough) edition of Darwin's "Origin of the Species", including a link to Kirk's YouTube video and  ZOMGitsCriss's just-oh-so-slightly snarky response:

"The Matt Kern Baby Seal Killing Society" Facebook group?

The Facebook group The Matt Kern Baby Seal Killing Society, describes itself as "For all those who love killing baby seals with assorted weapons."

We can only imagine they mean it sarcastically, as we do.

Ironically, the Facebook category is "Common Interest - Pets & Animals." Yup, that's common pet interest.