Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
This Snarky Puppy Won't be Humping Your Leg
Unfortunately, New Orleans Jazz / Funk / Experimental band Snarky Puppy just has a clever name. It's snark-free.
"Loose Screws" is both a good song and a dating tip.
"Loose Screws" is both a good song and a dating tip.
Married Recently in Texas? Think Again.
CBSNews reports on their Oops: Did Texas Ban Marriage? Blog that in 2005 Texas passed an amendment to ban gay marriage but may instead have banned marriage outright.
That'll teach 'em!
Consider the upside: it's been roughly 5 years so about 10% of you can save a bundle not-divorcing from your not-marriage. This should also be a boon for bars and therapists state-wide!
That'll teach 'em!
Consider the upside: it's been roughly 5 years so about 10% of you can save a bundle not-divorcing from your not-marriage. This should also be a boon for bars and therapists state-wide!
Effective Communication IS Sarcasm and Snark
Over on Skepchick there's a post Civility & Skepticism where they write "Here at Skepchick, we often use humor, sarcasm and snark to get our point across." We couldn't agree more! Anyway, there's a podcast on the debate on that method vs "civility". Yeah, like civility.is.awesome.
Friday, October 23, 2009
This is SO scary it had the nation glued to the TV
Flavorwire has a great post on a pumpkin carving of "Falcon’s delicate body dangling over the harsh cityscape below."
Sunday, October 11, 2009
TWO TWO TWO (yes I know that's 3) Can you answer honestly?-like Facebooky quizzy thingys
Blah blah how-to instructional crap omitted for your reading pleasure, or perhaps that may have been the best part...
I cranked this up to 12 on the snarkiness meter - 1 better than those damn 'Tap hacks.
Part 3
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
That stayed in?
2.Where was your profile picture taken?
About 6ft away from me.
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
I know Juke Box Hero, Greatest American Hero, but not the song Guitar Hero.
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
I don't name names.
5.What time did you go to bed and why?
Which time? Why? To sleep, duh.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I tried moving to the couch, but the keyboard cable isn't long enough.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
As I recall, kissing is supposed to create fireworks.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Temporally it would have to be John. I believe we're in nearly the same space-time.
9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
I befriended a number of Y's, one W once but he thought he was twice as good as my favorite, my dear V, so I dumped the bastard. I heard once you go X you never go back.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
Isn't he the bastard who OD'd MJ?
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
When Miss Demeanor ground her high heals into my hand.
12. Who took your profile picture?
Paparazzi. True.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Everyone in Glendale (and posted it here. You have to squint to see them)
14. Was yesterday better than today?
Hell Yeah. Yesterday I didn't die - today's still up in the air.
15. Can you live a day without TV?
Sure, but would it be worth living?
16. Are you upset about anything?
Nope, but I'm often upfront, uptight, and uppity.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
If they're priced right. The everyday values at Wal*Mart are the best.
18. Are you a bad influence?
Yes, but that's why I recommend everyone gets a yearly influenza vaccine.
19. Night out or night in?
This is a tough one for me, so I stand in the doorway.
20. What items could you not go without during the day?
My coffin - that damn sunlight!
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
That friend of mine I "accidentally" shot while we were hunting. Time to go ... again. Oops, the question is "visited" not "put."
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"If you can read this, you're too close"
23. How do you feel about your life right now?
Now? Good. Or now? So-so. Or now? Getting confused. How does one answer this? Now? Damn, make it stop!
24. Do you hate anyone?
Not just anyone, but a few of you in particular. Yes, that means you Stan! Fucker.
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Emails... were you expecting a shark or something?
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Is it essay or multiple guess?
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, perfect before sex (unfortunately not after.)
28. What song is stuck in your head?
A stray track by Silver Bullet Band. It happened when I was 5 during a drive by.
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Dunno, but they must be on stilts. Scary clown! Scary clown!
30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
That's just sick.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Nada.
32. Do you think too much or too little?
duh.
I cranked this up to 12 on the snarkiness meter - 1 better than those damn 'Tap hacks.
Part 3
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
That stayed in?
2.Where was your profile picture taken?
About 6ft away from me.
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
I know Juke Box Hero, Greatest American Hero, but not the song Guitar Hero.
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
I don't name names.
5.What time did you go to bed and why?
Which time? Why? To sleep, duh.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I tried moving to the couch, but the keyboard cable isn't long enough.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
As I recall, kissing is supposed to create fireworks.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Temporally it would have to be John. I believe we're in nearly the same space-time.
9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
I befriended a number of Y's, one W once but he thought he was twice as good as my favorite, my dear V, so I dumped the bastard. I heard once you go X you never go back.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
Isn't he the bastard who OD'd MJ?
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
When Miss Demeanor ground her high heals into my hand.
12. Who took your profile picture?
Paparazzi. True.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Everyone in Glendale (and posted it here. You have to squint to see them)
14. Was yesterday better than today?
Hell Yeah. Yesterday I didn't die - today's still up in the air.
15. Can you live a day without TV?
Sure, but would it be worth living?
16. Are you upset about anything?
Nope, but I'm often upfront, uptight, and uppity.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
If they're priced right. The everyday values at Wal*Mart are the best.
18. Are you a bad influence?
Yes, but that's why I recommend everyone gets a yearly influenza vaccine.
19. Night out or night in?
This is a tough one for me, so I stand in the doorway.
20. What items could you not go without during the day?
My coffin - that damn sunlight!
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
That friend of mine I "accidentally" shot while we were hunting. Time to go ... again. Oops, the question is "visited" not "put."
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"If you can read this, you're too close"
23. How do you feel about your life right now?
Now? Good. Or now? So-so. Or now? Getting confused. How does one answer this? Now? Damn, make it stop!
24. Do you hate anyone?
Not just anyone, but a few of you in particular. Yes, that means you Stan! Fucker.
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Emails... were you expecting a shark or something?
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Is it essay or multiple guess?
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, perfect before sex (unfortunately not after.)
28. What song is stuck in your head?
A stray track by Silver Bullet Band. It happened when I was 5 during a drive by.
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Dunno, but they must be on stilts. Scary clown! Scary clown!
30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
That's just sick.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Nada.
32. Do you think too much or too little?
duh.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Top Math is Hard Lists
Snark Much's blog has a post Snarky's Top 4 Top 10 Lists of Wacky Holidays & Observances, 4th Quarter
Now, that could be 40, but it turns out it's 51. Go figure.
4th Quarter? Does that mean the game is nearly over? Perhaps she needs a time-out. Of course, with those glossy lips and spinning heart I'd prefer if she hits the showers.
Now, that could be 40, but it turns out it's 51. Go figure.
4th Quarter? Does that mean the game is nearly over? Perhaps she needs a time-out. Of course, with those glossy lips and spinning heart I'd prefer if she hits the showers.
YASD (Yet Another 'Snarky' Definition): "sharply critical"?
Euripides on his blog says:
The Snarky Files. Snarky means several things. I prefer the definition of "sharply critical." Here's my take on some news stories this past week. No real news here, just snark.While we love the term "Snark Files", and agree with "sharply critical", the definition is missing it's humor. And on that note, only you can decide if his posts on the "moral bankruptcy of our US society and within the government" are funny.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My life according to Vogon Poetry ("On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.")
Using only poem titles from ONE poet, answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 (or a million) people you like, plus me because I want to see what you posted. You can't use the poet I used. Do not repeat a title. Repost as "My Life According to (POET)."
Are you a male or female?
Its earted jurtles
Describe yourself:
Like jowling meated liverslime
How do you feel:
Oh freddled gruntbuggly
Describe where you currently live:
Into a rancid festering...
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
With crinkly bindlewurdles
Your favorite form of transportation:
On a lurgid bee
What's the weather like:
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
Favorite time of day:
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles
Your relationships:
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
Your fear:
That mordiously hath bitled out
What is the best advice you have to give:
See if I don't.
If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
Your soul's present condition:
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
Are you a male or female?
Its earted jurtles
Describe yourself:
Like jowling meated liverslime
How do you feel:
Oh freddled gruntbuggly
Describe where you currently live:
Into a rancid festering...
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
With crinkly bindlewurdles
Your favorite form of transportation:
On a lurgid bee
What's the weather like:
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
Favorite time of day:
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles
Your relationships:
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
Your fear:
That mordiously hath bitled out
What is the best advice you have to give:
See if I don't.
If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
Your soul's present condition:
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
Friday, September 25, 2009
And now, a Very Special Blossom, er, I mean Snark.
The Huff Post has a little article about Kirk Cameron's "very special" (cough, cough) edition of Darwin's "Origin of the Species", including a link to Kirk's YouTube video and ZOMGitsCriss's just-oh-so-slightly snarky response:
"The Matt Kern Baby Seal Killing Society" Facebook group?
The Facebook group The Matt Kern Baby Seal Killing Society, describes itself as "For all those who love killing baby seals with assorted weapons."
We can only imagine they mean it sarcastically, as we do.
Ironically, the Facebook category is "Common Interest - Pets & Animals." Yup, that's common pet interest.
We can only imagine they mean it sarcastically, as we do.
Ironically, the Facebook category is "Common Interest - Pets & Animals." Yup, that's common pet interest.
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