My life according to Vogon Poetry ("On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.")

Using only poem titles from ONE poet, answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 (or a million) people you like, plus me because I want to see what you posted. You can't use the poet I used. Do not repeat a title. Repost as "My Life According to (POET)."

Are you a male or female?
Its earted jurtles

Describe yourself:
Like jowling meated liverslime

How do you feel:
Oh freddled gruntbuggly

Describe where you currently live:
Into a rancid festering...

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
With crinkly bindlewurdles

Your favorite form of transportation:
On a lurgid bee

What's the weather like:
As plurdled gabbleblotchits

Favorite time of day:
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles

Your relationships:
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes

Your fear:
That mordiously hath bitled out

What is the best advice you have to give:
See if I don't.

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts

Your soul's present condition:
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon